My Life as a Dad Vol. 1 No. 3 Discipline of a Parent

I don't like to discipline. I understand it is an inevitable part of proper parenting and without it our kids would run amuck, but I still don't like to do it. Not for the full reason that most of you may be thinking. I definitely don't like causing my own child pain, but I also don't like to do it because I don't ever feel like I am fully doing it correctly. Let me explain. Discipline, Godly discipline, is used to correct, teach, and encourage. If done correctly, the child will A) still feel loved, B) know of their sinful heart, C) be prayed for, D) and continue to learn about their need for a Savior who can heal them through His own sacrifice and love. Here's my problem. While I try to explain all of that, I always feel like I tainted it by my own pridefulness. My telltale sign for knowing Nick needs to be disciplined, is because a frustration, anger, or combination of the two, has welled up inside of my own prideful and sinful heart. Sometimes it's to the point where I don't even feel as if it would be right to discipline him when I'm in sin myself and need my own rebuking. So, in those failing moments, I let it go and let him continue. I will still persevere most of the time, following through with my God ordained responsibility, and I try to remember to ask my 20 month old for his forgiveness as he's crying and hugging me, but in all honesty, it doesn't happen a majority of the time. I'm sure I am not alone in this problem as mankind, particulary the men of mankind, have a major ego problem and don't like to be questioned or disobeyed. I know somewhere in God's infinite wisdom are Scriptures that point in the right direction for my own heart and its cleansing. I'm also sure in Ted Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart there is profound knowledge just waiting for me to revisit it. But in the meantime, while I'm being lazy and just thinking about all this, it sucks to need discipline while needing to discipline.